Are You Feeling Anxious?
Maybe the life you're living isn't what you had planned for yourself? What if you're dealing with circumstances that feel beyond your control, or facing challenges that are limiting your ability to live a more spontaneous, fulfilling, and intimate life? Is it time for a change?
Hi, I’m Ben Hylands an accredited, qualified and experienced Psychotherapeutic Counsellor and clinical Hypnotherapist with comfy therapy rooms in Saltdean and central Brighton. I offer a confidential, accessible, beneficial counselling and psychotherapy service for individuals, couples and groups within weekly sessions on a short, medium and long-term basis.
If you are experiencing anxiety this may be a symptom of how life is for you, traumatic experience(s), betrayal, loss, low self-esteem, abuse, addiction or family or work issues. These are just some examples.
Feelings are useful to us when we learn to engage with them and understand they signpost what we need. For example, when we feel anger, that feeling is telling you that something is wrong. Therefore, what might you need? Perhaps a reassessment of your personal boundaries, a choice of how you interact with others and who with? An acceptance of loss and or betrayal? I help my clients explore this together and make meaning of their feelings.
When we learn early on in our development that a feeling is ‘bad’ like anger or sadness, we learn to suppress our feelings, to gain acceptance and to belong. However, we can find that as adults this no longer serves us and our needs are no longer met. Suppression of emotion leads to depression. This is where the desire for and benefit of ‘control’ is often confused.
When we learn from our care givers, teachers and authority figures within our environments that life or the people within it ‘should’ or ‘must’ be a certain way, we unconsciously form rules that we abide by without consciously questioning if these are rational. Those rules which may have kept us safe or belonging, may not be serving us now, and instead limit our autonomy, relationships, intimacy and contentment.
Overwhelm and burnout, for instance, aren't simply about being tired—they're about losing touch with yourself. As humans, we're often skilled at deceiving ourselves and ignoring our true needs. Once confident, strong individuals can end up struggling with anxiety, self-doubt, and a sense of hopelessness. This often stems from the feelings and behaviors that were considered "acceptable" in our families and schools during our formative years.
Control of what we feel is often what we desire. Obsessive behaviors, feelings, thoughts and habits provide the comforting and longed for psychological functions of stability, predictability, continuity and even identity.
But often instead of the desired ‘control’ we suppress what we are feeling instead. When we suppress emotions rather than engage with them we become depressed. I can help you engage with the come and go of emotions, learning to allow them to flow, telling you what you need.
I provide a safe confidential space, for us to work together at your pace, without judgement. I’ll listen, truly listen.
I can help you understand what sub conscious rules you live by and how they served you once before but maybe limit you now. We can identify what needs remain unfulfilled for you and how you can change this for the better.
I can work with you to understand what significant experiences in life have help shape you to whom you are today, why you feel, think and behave the way you do.
Together we can resolve that feeling of anxiety you have and its underlying internal confusion, conflict and deficit. My clients learn to make choices on how they wish to change themselves or their lives.
People come to counselling and therapy for a variety of reasons, and to achieve many different things. Whether you are trying to solve a specific problem, understanding and dealing with difficult events, building and using resources to support making changes to improve your life or looking for greater self-awareness, I can help.
Please contact me by phone, email or via my contact page to request a free 20-minute video or phone call so we can discuss what you need and how I can help.
Thanks for reading. I look forward to hearing from you.
Warm regards.
Ben Hylands.